Owning a Land Rover is a big commitment – are you sure you are cut out for the responsibility of owning the finest vehicle ever constructed? It takes serious talent, honestly…
A few reasons to think twice before you buy a Land Rover.
1. Nothing will ever compare to a Land Rover.
Becoming a Land Rover owner will absolutely spoil you for the foreseeable future. With its exceptional driving position and sense of exhilaration even at low speeds, no other car comes close.
To be honest, a family saloon will more than likely be more luxurious, and yes, a sportscar will be faster – but these are all one-trick ponies! A Land Rover may not be a comfortable speed machine, but it will take up the challenge of any task you throw at it while ensuring you and your passengers remain safe in all weathers. Once you have had the security of a Land Rover at your hands, all other one-dimensional cars will leave you disappointed and cheated!
2. It will take over your life – your house
Land Rover’s come with a lot of baggage! From magazines to head gaskets in the kitchen, Land Rover Manuals in the bedroom and gearboxes in the bath! – Your postman will be delivering a stockpile of parts from JGS4X4 – which will stack up and block the hallway much to your partner’s dismay…
The garden won’t be spared either; a refuge of wheels, tyres, and everything deemed too grimy to enter the house. No area will be spared as it is likely to become your own personal shrine for all the components you have broken but cannot bring yourself to throw away. Those who are really lucky may have a garage or shed as a convenient overflow!
3. Your relationship with FUEL will never be the same
We all know that fuel consumption isn’t exactly the Land Rover’s strong point. You may get 22mpg out of a Series Land Rover without trying too hard – However, long journey’s will become a dangerous game of ‘let’s see if I can make it to the next petrol station’. Sweat will start pouring off your forehead after the fuel gauge dips below a quarter and the motorway sign says ‘next service station 20 miles” – will the fuel warning light come on?
4. It will become part of the family.
Owning a Land Rover is very much like owning a pet – it quickly becomes part of the family. Before long your family will give it a name – it’s inevitable, they will! – the Land Rover will burrow itself in and take over your life. If you ever do flog it, your family will never speak to you again for such villainous treachery.
5. You will become everyone’s handyman.
Due to the Land Rover’s practicality and brilliance, you will find yourself called upon by nearly everyone you know at some point to either pick something up or help out in adverse conditions. This could be as simple as pulling an over-ambitious driver from a ditch or running a trip to Ikea to save a mate renting a van. It could even be to help bury a body in the woods or ram-raid a bank – which could lead to swift imprisonment – so you’ll need to watch yourself!
6. The Land Rover Club.
Owning a Land Rover has the ultimate snobbery factor! Your neighbours and friends will be jealous and may even stop talking to you. The opposite sex will start to find you rather attractive and your house value may increase once that expensive Range Rover Sport is sat on the driveway.
Let’s not also forget when the bad weather hits the Land Rover 4X4 becomes the most attractive vehicle ‘on or off-the-road’! Then they all come swarming for a tow out of trouble, looking for favours…